Hey Energizer Bunny, SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!

You know those people who have their life all figured out, they know exactly what they want and they are completely content? You know, those people who go to work, come home, do the dishes, make dinner, watch some tv and then go to bed to do it all again the next day? I am not one of those people.

Me? I wake up in the morning, if you can call what I do waking up. I lay in bed for probably an hour before I feel I'm ready to face the world. As I lay there I file through the list of things I should or could do that day and try to decide which one is more important or more time sensitive. In other words, which ones do I need to get done today, which ones need to get done before work, and which ones can wait until later tonight or another day entirely. This list often includes(in no specific order) things like: Shower, paint my nails, homework, practice an instrument, exercise. clean my room/bathroom/house, laundry, make lunch, sew a project, write in this blog, pay bills, research something, and write a song. So I do everything I can before getting ready for work, then head off to my day job. My job doesn't always require a lot of brain power, so as I go throughout the day, I decide from my list made that morning, what I will do when I get off, if given enough idle time, I even add a few things to the list. Which is no help at all.  

When I finally get home, I have to make and eat dinner and by the time that is all done, I have what seems like such little time to get the things I need and want to do done. I find myself wishing there were more hours in the day. The hours tick by as I multitask as many things as I can and try to put off sleep for as long as possible. 

Oh to be one of those people who spends an hour preparing for bed. I use as much of my time as possible, then I hurriedly brush my teeth, sometimes shower, use a face wipe to clean the makeup off and roll into bed only to be unable to sleep as the tasks I didn't get done haunt my brain. 

Am I the only one plagued by these endless tasks, projects, chores, and needs? Am I the only one that just doesn't seem to have enough hours in the day or the ability to shut your brain off long enough to really sleep? My brain is the Energizer Bunny, bang, bang, banging on his drum as he endlessly runs around creating even more things for me to do.

There is only one time when my brain shuts off, when I am completely content with sitting and doing absolutely nothing. Where my brain shuts off completely or thinks of nothing more than what is happening right then, in the moment. That is when I am with people I love, friends and family that fill my soul with so much love that just being in their presence is more than I could ever need to be happy. I cherish those times, because the majority of my time is not spent in the company of these people, Most of my time is spent alone with nothing to do but think and think and think, or work and work and work. Or maybe even think, and work, and think, and work. Or any other combinations you can think of. Tis the life of an unmarried woman, is it not? 

In a nutshell, my day always feels unfinished. The ingredients for the dinner I planned to make sit in the fridge forgotten after eating the quick snack or sandwich instead. The paper with the half scrolled song lyrics, sits on the corner of my desk for weeks. The sewing project is packed away for later, sometimes never getting finished. And my nails sit chipped, bare, or misshapen for days on end. Even now, this blog is cut short because I just can't focus enough to even write any more. Too many things running through my head, and a story waiting in the background of my laptop to be read and edited for a friend. Sometimes I just need to say:

"Hey Energizer Bunny? SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!"