Time Flies

There is a saying that we all know. Time flies when you are having fun. It is used mostly as a motivator to get someone who doesn't want to do something, to do it. As if telling someone to have fun will automatically make them have fun, which will in turn make 'time fly' and make their unwanted task be over before they know it. I will say that often times it works. It motivates people to let go of their worries or unhappiness and live in the moment. I would argue though, that time just simply flies. It has been almost a year since I have even looked at this blog and I feel like so much and yet so little has happened. Where has all the time gone? Shortly after I wrote the last post I did get that job at pizza hut. Having the uniform job and the new job at pizza hut I was working about 50-60 hours a week. For a while I was still getting some projects done (making scarves upcycling a few pieces and making jewelry). I even had a booth at Idaho's Biggest Yardsale. With taxes though, I made very little. Then I got tired. My room became a hurricane disaster and I was too tired to clean it up, let alone be crafty after that impossible task was over. For the most part my crafts were put on hold. Although my sewing crafts went to the wayside, I still tried to keep my focus on my music. I wrote one more song. I now have 4 original songs. 2 are silly and 2 are, well, rather good if you ask me. When I get inspired for a song, its almost always about a guy, or guys in general. I hate that. I want to write about so much more. There is a lot to life and I want to write about it all. But being a young single adult, my brain tends to get stuck on the lack of a relationship. It's not that I am not happy being single, being single is great, but I have been single a long time. It's no longer an adventure or exciting. It's now a chore. It used to bother me when people would try to set me up on dates, now I welcome it. This fact worries me. I'm too lazy or exasperated to go out and socialize that I am perfectly okay with people saying "I know the perfect guy for you!". Also how can I help but think, "What if they are right? Maybe this is the guy for me." Not that any of this is new for any of you. Just the typical single life struggles. I feel like dating used to be easier. At least that is what movies would have us believe. But hey, I've never been good at dating. It's a fact. I'm terrible at flirting, dating, reading signals, and sending signals. That's why I live very openly and never leave room for misconceptions. Anything you want to know, ask me, and I will tell you. On that note, although I consider myself an open person, I have realized that I don't openly hand out information that is not asked for. I feel that if someone doesn't ask me for certain information or opinion then they probably don't want it. It's hard for me to just assume that they would be interested in my experiences. I envy the people in my life who can so openly share. It's something I would very much like to be able to do. Is there some secret I don't know about? Some way to know when to speak and when to listen? I'm great at listening, but after you listen, do you also share? That's where I get confused. I don't want to be that person that as soon as you tell a story, I tell one too, and then all of the sudden I'm one upping you and you feel like your story got left behind and forgotten. So I sit. And I listen. And if I don't know the perfect thing to say, I say nothing. Well I went off on a few tangents there, but back to what is going on. A little over a month ago I quit pizza hut. But, I still work there. lol I gave my notice and my boss begged me to stay at least one day. So I work there one morning a week and it is nice to see my boss and make that little bit of extra money. Now that I have more free time, I have been spending more time with some friends and just enjoying myself. A little over a week ago, my brother Aspen, left on his mission. He is ultimately going to be in Mexico, but right now he is in Utah. I miss him a lot and am struggling with what to write him about but I will make it work. Since he has left my mom and I have moved me into his room(its much bigger than mine) and I have much more room and with a big new organized work space I am hoping to get better focus on my fashion ideas and get them rolling again. Along with getting back to that, I am pulling my guitar out of the case and going to practice more. I haven't played in 2 weeks. I need to be playing a few times a week. I am in a band now. We are nameless as of yet, but it will be a three person rockabilly band for now. I am going to be the singer and songwriter and that freaks me out. Being the lead singer is nerve wracking enough, but the song writer? I am not that good at writing songs! It is truly work for me to write a song. It sometimes takes me months to write one song and that is after I finally get an inspired idea. I'm feeling a bit out of my comfort zone, but I'm hoping that's a good thing. Talk about out of my comfort zone. My uncles set me up a while back with a guy in their ward. We went on a walk and then I didn't hear from him for a while. Until yesterday, that is. He called me and asked me to go out, and I'm perplexed, because getting together sounds fine, I just can't find a single night this week that I am free. How does it happen that most weeks, I sit at home every night watching tv, cleaning, doing anything I can think of and then everyone calls or wants to get together all in the same week? Now I haven't called him back because I don't know what to say. With my friends, BSU football, The band, Community choir and getting my hair done, I'm left with no time. How do people find time? And after everything else that they do in the week and day, how do they find energy? Energy to go out and laugh and be sociable with a stranger. That's hard work. So, yes, I think time flies. I have had some fun times this last year, and I've had some really bad times. No matter how I was spending the time, or how much I enjoyed it, I'm still here, a year later, and it feels like no time at all. I think if I vomit any more words and thoughts at you my brain might start coming out with it, so I will stop for now. I very much like my brain and it'd be nice to keep it in my head. I'm not even gonna proof read this and I'm not sorry. If it's painful to read, then I hope you stopped before now. If not, I'm still not sorry. ;) Lots of love, Kelli